Hanging by a moment song fic
by mistopher
Summary: spoilers for season 9 ep 16


Spoilers for season 9 ep 16  
  
Desperate for changing  
  
Carter stood in the shower and thought about how the night had gone. He had planned on proposing but at the last minute decided not to. "I don't think people ever really change." That was the one sentence that stopped him. If marriage was going to work between them Abby had to change. He had already changed. He got past his addiction. Abby had fallen back on hers. She needed to go to the AA meetings again she needed to get sober he couldn't be fully with her until she did and he desperately prayed that she was strong enough to change.  
  
Starving for truth  
  
He hated that she was so closed off he wanted her to confide in him he wanted to help her get passed this like she helped him. He had really opened up to her tonight. He had been completely truthful that's all he wanted in return. But she didn't open up she answered his questions but what he wanted was more then that. He wanted to know where he stood where her feelings were. More then one word answers. He wanted the truth.  
  
Closer to where I started in chasing after you  
  
He felt like he was back in the beginning of their relationship all over again. He was reaching out he was showing his feelings but she wasn't. He felt like he was chasing after her. He knew if she didn't decide to change he would just end up chasing her forever.  
  
Falling even more in love with you.  
  
He didn't want to think about that. Everyday he loved her more. He couldn't help it there was just something about her and he knew she was the one. That scared him because if she didn't get sober he could never completely be with her. He had to wait. He had to wait for her to make that choice.  
  
Letting go of all I held on to  
  
Carter thought about how much his relationship with Abby was different then all the other ones he'd ever been in. He always had so much baggage and so many fears but with Abby he let it all go his fear of abandonment his fear of never finding true love all of it. But Abby still held on to all her fears. She hadn't yet reached the point where she was able to let them go.  
  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
  
He knew when Abby was ready for more she would have to tell him she would have to give him reason to move forward until then he wasn't moving.  
  
Hanging by a moment here with you  
  
Until she did he was going to live in this moment. The moment that changed everything he was hurt he wanted her to love him the way he loved her, Completely. It was very hard to except that she wasn't ready to do that yet.  
  
Forgetting all I'm lacking  
  
Abby made everything better. When he was with her he forgot about all the things that were lacking in his life and he could just be happy.  
  
Completely incomplete  
  
Because of that he knew he would never be complete until she was ready to be with him the way he was ready to be with her. He felt as though a piece of himself was missing. The piece that was Abby.  
  
I'll take your invitation  
  
She at least agreed she wanted this to stick and he knew she meant it. He looked he in the eyes when she said it and he knew she loved him. To him it was an invitation to stay. To wait until she was ready. She didn't want him to leave and for now that would have to be enough.  
  
You take all of me now  
  
Besides she already had him heart, soul, and mind. And as much as it hurt he knew she wasn't ready to give her all to him.  
  
I'm living for the only thing I know  
  
She meant everything to him and he would wait. He could barely remember what things were like before he knew her. He didn't know how to do anything except love her.  
  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
  
He wanted to help so badly. He wanted her to get sober. He wanted her to be able to trust him. But he didn't know how to do any of those things. It felt like he was running in circles trying so hard to help but really having no idea how too. He thought asking her to marry him was the right direction but now he wasn't so sure.  
  
I don't know what I'm diving into  
  
He told Maggie just today that he wasn't walking into this blind but what if he was. Didn't love sometimes make you blind? What if that was true in his case? Could he really love her if she never changed anything? Alcoholism was a part of her and he knew he needed to make sure he could live with that just like he had to live with being an addict it wasn't something that you ever stopped being.  
  
Just hanging by a moment here with you  
  
"I don't know if people ever really change" that was it the moment he was stuck in. the moment all the what ifs in the world flashed through his mind.  
  
There's nothing left to lose  
  
He wasn't going to leave her he told her everything laid it all on the table he loved her and had basically told her she was the one. He had already given her his heart he had nothing else to lose.  
  
Nothing left to find  
  
She was the one he knew it he had found everything that he ever wanted in her.  
  
There's nothing in the world that could change my mind  
  
The things Maggie had said made him stop to think. Made him realize he had to give her more time. But nothing in the world was going to change the way he felt about Abby. Nothing. He loved her.  
  
There is nothing else  
  
*The song is hanging by a moment by lifehouse  
  
I was lying in bed at like 3 am and this idea came to me I had to get up to write it! 


End file.
